Sometimes I am a little late to see a blockbuster movie or read a New York Times Bestseller. I hear the titles and think, “That sounds good, I’ll add that to my list.”  This year I am reading a bestseller from 2009 by Gretchen Rubin called The Happiness Project. I have never taken a whole year to finish a book, but this time I am intentionally spreading this one out. The author takes on the idea of studying what makes a person happy and tackles twelve different approaches or themes in finding happiness in life. Back in December I picked this up and wanted to read one chapter each month just for kicks.

January was about boosting energy which fit perfectly with my New Years Resolutions to exercise and tidy up around the house. That is when I decluttered like a neat freak with the Mari Kondo method and the inspiring words in this book. I find her research-supported writing along with her personal experiences to be a balanced and motivating read. So in February I continued on with her chapter about love. It was timed with Valentines I’m sure, and I found it very applicable in my married life with children and puppies. 

March rolled in with the theme of “work” and I was not drawn in at all. It is the last day of March and I finally got around to reading this chapter. I don’t work outside the home so I incorrectly assumed I would not relate to it. It is now my favorite chapter so far (out of three). I quickly learned that work refers to the broader sense of work, the idea of doing what I do or what I am working to accomplish in a day. For me that can be training the puppies, creating and maintaining a clean and healthy environment for my family, and so on. As a stay-at-home mom at my doctor’s appointment, the in-take nurse likes to smile cleverly as she states my occupation as “domestic engineer.” Whatever. I love what I do and do not need to retitle it. I am a stay-at-home mom of four children, two aussiedoodle puppies and a kitten. This chapter really intrigued me when it got to the part about this author starting a blog. NOW SHE GOT MY ATTENTION.

Her research revealed that challenge and novelty are key elements to happiness. Trying something new and maybe a little out of one’s comfort zone is something I can totally relate to. I consider myself fairly brave and daring, trying new things: taking horseback riding lessons in Texas, joining a gourmet cooking club, starting a new mothers support group, taking adult tap dancing lessons, and even walking into a writing class without ever being anything close to an english major. I like novelty and challenge! It makes me giggle and say, “Why not me?” Two aussiedoodle puppies sounded crazy, “Why not us?” Some of my new ventures did not stick, like horseback riding because I am still too afraid of horses (even after my hours with old blind-in-one-eye Muffin). The gourmet club fizzled when I discovered the others in the club were not great chefs either and getting together to eat mediocre food with strangers was not fun. 

The one scary step I took twelve years ago into a writing class in Connecticut did open up something inside of me. I realized I loved pouring out my feelings and my memories onto the page. The self-conscious voices in my head grew softer as I began to enjoy where my writing took me. People hear that I am in writing classes and ask me if I plan to write a book. I’d love to, but just as Gretchen Rubin points out in this chapter, it is important to “enjoy now.” She explains that happiness can be felt as we work toward our goals, also known as the “pre-goal positive attainment affect.” Sure, I would love to write a book someday. In the meantime, I am writing for my class, for this blog, and for my own eyes. I love this way of looking at my work.

Koda and Summer are still super rambunctious puppies who jump up all over people, there is work to be done there. My youngest son leaves for college in 70 days, we have things to do. My blog has not reached the goal I set of posting for one full year, I have three more months to send my thoughts out to the world wide web. As I learned this morning in reading a chapter from this 2009 bestseller about happiness, I am going to work hard and enjoy it. “Enjoy now” is my new mantra. Even if it is a concept that has been around for some time, as I stated earlier, I may be a little late on the uptake!

Freedom is an exciting thing. To be allowed to independently explore new territory is thrilling and adventurous. It can be a bit scary not knowing what is around the next corner. No worries, safety precautions are in place. Toilet lids are closed and doors to the laundry room, master bedroom closet and the upstairs attic are all tightly shut.  The baby gate is up, keeping the eager to play large aussiedoodle puppies at bay. For an indoor-only cat, Sansa is FREE! She can pitter patter around, smell everything, jump up on chairs and beds. Nearby, I can hear the jingle jingle of her bell.

We granted Sansa this newly expanded boundary perimeter under the condition that she wear a tiny kitten collar with a bell. The collar has a safely breakaway clasp with a little silver bell. Our cat wore one of these for a long time in her life. It helped us know where Kitty was. Sansa can explore around the house and when I want to find her I just call her name and listen for the jingle bells.  The collar with the bell took her a few minutes to get used to, then she acted like she forgot it was there.

Koda and Summer make their presence known when they are in a room, but Sansa can be hiding under a bed or slinking out of sight; her presence undetected were it not for the bell. Here is the funny thing, she follows me around. I gave her the wide world of our house to check out and she finds me at my desk and crawls up to my lap to sit. Now instead of the jingle of a bell, it is her rhythmic purring I hear.

I thought that Koda and Summer had a lot of energy, but this kitten Sansa is something else. She knows two modes: freaky fast and dreamy dozing. These are the two extremes for Sansa. One moment she is purring with eyes closed as I gently run my hand along her smooth back; the next she is bounding across the carpet, appearing from under the bed and reappearing over behind the curtain. She is freaky fast like a spider monkey as she climbs her three story cat tree. I have a son like this. He also has two speeds, napping and full throttle. This has been his temperament from the time he began walking.

To say that my son had a lot of energy would be a gross understatement. He was the everlasting energizer bunny constantly wanting to play something, asking what was next, reminding me what I promised was next, and getting angry if he did not like things. He would grunt and ball up his fists and furrow his eye brows, and then shake it off and move on. Certain tasks were especially challenging: leaving the park, keeping his hands off the candy in the checkout aisle, and keeping him busy. I tried giving him Christmas presents like the automatic football thrower so he had “someone” to throw him balls; along those same lines, we also gave him a bounce back net. Unfortunately neither one of those toys did the trick. He always wanted me to play with him or watch him or time him running around the back yard. His first day of football in Texas, he came home and ran laps. Through winded breathing he told me his coach said he needed to practice running fast. I called my husband and said we had discovered our son’s physical outlet and passion: football.

He has always been one who needs his sleep and will get it however he can. Naps on long (or short) car rides and on bus trips were perfect opportunities for him to recharge his batteries. His energy would go until it ran out of charge. There was one night, when he was around three years old that we were getting ready to go out for a date and leaving the kids with a teenage babysitter. He was particularly rambunctious that afternoon and never had a nap. He was also cranky and over-tired, running up and down the upstairs hallway until his battery suddenly went dead, he simply dropped down to the carpet and fell sound asleep. I got a little blanket and placed it over him. When the sitter arrived I gave her instructions for the night and added, “Oh and our third child is asleep on the floor in the hallway, you can just leave him right where he is.”

Things have not changed much as he has gotten older, he is still a napper and still eager to play and be active. He turns 22 years old today. I believe he is starting his day with an early morning football practice, then attending classes, squeezing in a nap, followed by football team meetings. He would no have it any other way. Just like Sansa, he loves the high energy activity followed by a cozy nap on the bed in the afternoon. He is also freaky fast and a dreamy dozer. Happy Birthday to my sweet energetic third child! I will watch Sansa spring around the room off the furniture and think of you today!

All I have to do is place my hand over the basket holding the leashes and Summer and Koda begin dancing with excitement. We have established routines that are fairly consistent, including taking a long three mile walk around the neighborhood loop. There are days that I have to take a shorter route due to time constraints or inclement weather. Most often this long walk is during the early afternoon. Dogs cannot tell time, but I do believe they understand the flow of our day. Ever since they were young puppies I created the same routine.

It begins with morning snuggles, ear rubs, kisses, and deep back massages. They yawn and stretch during this love fest. Then they go out in the back yard for a quick relief and run-around. They are back at the door, eager for breakfast. They know what to expect next, it’s quiet coffee and reading time on the sofa under blankets. At least they know that is what Mama is doing, and so they curl up at my feet and at my side to take in this peaceful part of the routine. If I had started them as morning walkers from the beginning then they would have restlessly expected a walk when I was still reading and writing in my pjs. I am glad I set the expectations a long time ago.

I learned, as a mother of four children, that routines and traditions are set early on. Whatever you do for the oldest, each of the younger kids think that’s what will happen for them. Everything from Tooth Fairy currency to birthday milestone gifts all get compared. I am guilty of perpetuating these traditions and meeting these expectations. Sometimes there are things that feel so right at the time, and then you realize you have set a precedent that poses a challenge to continue. Being the loving Mama Bear that I am, I never want any of my younger cubs to feel slighted because I ran out of energy or time.

I’m feeling a little pressure at the moment because several of our family celebratory traditions are stacking up. My third child graduates from college in May, followed by the baby of the family graduating from high school in June. I have my work cut out for me. For our first two children graduation from college, I made them each a movie with clips from their toddler days, school days and college years. The hour long movies were fun to make as I sat in front of my computer reliving all those adorable moments of cookie decorating, talent shows, and soccer games. I had the video camera on a tripod often just recording them playing dress-ups, putting on a show, and riding bikes in the driveway. The editing and adding of music from their lives takes quite a long time for this technologically challenged Mama Bear. I’ve got two months to complete it. Then at the same time, my youngest son is expecting the “School Days Album” which documents preschool through 12th grade with snapshots and keepsakes. It’s kind of a spread-it-all-out-on-the-floor kind of project with scissors and tape. The challenge with this youngest child is A. Finding photographs and B. Half of his childhood went digital. I’ve maid a lot of progress on the collecting already, and should make the June deadline fine.

Expectations are ok when you are determined to deliver on them. My shelf has a set of three great “School Days Albums” that will be complete with the fourth very soon. My cloud storage will add a third long movie featuring my 22 year old son. Both children will be excited to follow in the footsteps of their older siblings, staying true to our family traditions. Meanwhile, I will try hard to not skip any long walks with Koda and Summer, since they have come to expect and enjoy them.

It sounds like a children’s fairytale from down under. Sansa, our three month old tabby kitten has had interactions with Koda and Summer, her eleven month old canine siblings. It may puzzle you that we are taking our time with this introduction, but if you knew Summer and Koda you would understand why. It is not that they are unfriendly or aggressive. Quite the opposite. These fifty plus pound pups are excited and eager to meet anyone they come in contact with. Each dog has it’s own way of showing it. Summer will wag her tail and go in close, with her nose low, putting out a friendly vibe to every dog we come across on our walks. Koda shows his energetic greeting with a deep bark, tail wagging, but deep barking. I have learned that if I stand and talk to the dog owner and we are in a relaxed conversation, Koda finally quiets down.  All the while, Summer has made close friends with the dog.

Sansa is all of three pounds (just weighed yesterday at her check-up). She is tiny! Sansa is also like Wolverine with really sharp claws. She is quick as a whip and can disappear under the bed like Houdini. It has only been one week that we have had Sansa at home with us. We are in no rush to forge the friendship of her with housemates. Taking the advice from our vetrinarian as well as several online sources, we are exposing  Sansa to Summer and Koda in small increments. The goal is to build positive experiences between them.

Summer so far has been accepted the most by Sansa. She laid flat on her stomach and just calmly watched her. They both seemed curious about one another. No sudden moves, just a sweet exchange of two Game of Thrones named animals. Koda on the other hand ruined his encounter with Sansa by letting out a deep bark which sent her dashing under the bed. The next time around he did not bark, but tried to eat her food and was interested in her litterbox. But he did not bark: that is progress!

As the vet reminded us, there is no hurry. Sansa is still getting used to her new environment. We just need to keep having short visits and eventually they will learn that nobody is going anywhere. I’ll post the actual tips I have read about introducing puppies to kittens on tomorrow’s blog. Stay tuned, as “Sansa and the Aussiedoodles” continues.

I lived 28 years before becoming Grizzlybearma. The lucky day for me was St. Patrick’s Day in 1993. It was the day of the birth of our first child. We had cut our teeth at “parenthood” when we brought home two Shih Tzu puppies a couple years earlier. We learned what it meant to be responsible for someone other than ourselves by feeding, bathing, and training tiny Janet and Paula. They rewarded our caring efforts with plenty of cuddles and kisses. By the time I was pregnant with our first child, we considered ourselves seasoned parents of our fur babies.

Nothing truly prepared us for how much our lives would change on that 17th day in March. Our son came into this world teaching us right off the bat that we had the capacity to love even more than we ever thought before. I gave notice at my teaching job shortly after returning to work following my maternity leave. Lucky as I was to birth this amazingly sweet smart boy, I was also fortunate to be able to stay at home full time. My days of grizzlybearma were off to a great start, building all of the heartwarming (or humorous) experiences that would one day be shared in my memoir or on my blog. 

Last week I was walking Koda and Summer around the neighborhood loop and a man stopped to pet and admire the dogs. We chatted a bit and then he turned his head to the side and asked, “Why two?” I laughed and told him it was our plan even before visited the litter. Why two? I kept thinking about his question as I continued to walk. Why four kids? Why a new kitten? Just as my son taught us twenty-six years ago, the heart has the capacity to welcome in more. At least my mother bear heart does! I know it’s more work, more time, more money, more space, more everything.  That also includes more snuggles and laughs. I love my role as mama bear to these babies and fur babies. I am one lucky lady, and I am remembering this today on St Patrick’s Day, my 26 year old son’s birthday

I am a mama bear through and through, naming my blog Grizzlybearma because of how ferociously I protect and care for my cubs. I have been known to rush down to the elementary school in a moments notice when one of my children had any problem. I’ve emailed teachers, met with counselors, and sought out the help of tutors when it was necessary. My intention was always focussed on helping my children succeed, which in my mind, meant reaching their potentials.

What is taking place out there right now in the college admissions scandal is completely bonkers. These mother bears have lost their perspectives. They have acted more like sly fox mamas cheating the system and stealing admission spots from hardworking students. There are many people to blame in this circus of deceit: the ring leader who purported to help families navigate the college admissions process, the paid proctors who doctored exams, the college coaches who accepted bribe money to falsely guise these students as incoming athletes, the admissions personnel that may have suspected something but looked away, and the families.

The parents are who I fault the most. You have lost your minds, Moms and Pops! Your child will not benefit at all from your “help” and participating in this charade to skip past the channels that the rest of the kids navigate for admissions spots at elite schools. The saddest part I see is that you parents are missing the real point, there is a college out there just right for your son or daughter. Even if they had their hearts set on a top Ivy, you need to support them as they accept the rejection and then find the right fit for them.

Sometimes we mama bears lose our cool and can act irrationally. I once scolded a hairdresser at a Kiddie Cuts for shaving my two year old son’s head at his first haircut. I kind of went a little nuts and even cried standing over the hair covered floor. We have our moments. These mama foxes and papa foxes had enough time to think over their actions, so there is no excuse. I only hope that other parents will learn something from this scandal being exposed. 

Parenthood is not easy. We want the best for our kids (human and fur baby) and we need to support them. Love them, read to them, help with homework (but don’t do their science project for them), take them on walks, listen to them, nurture their gifts, snuggle them, and most of all, let them grow and follow the path they choose.